Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
