I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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