Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the day after is always just damage control
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
