gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
