Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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