i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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