Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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