My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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