dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
