If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize