Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
