I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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