Dude my mom stole all your condoms
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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