First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize