Where is the hickey?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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