we're blogging at a bar
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
