Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
