She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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