You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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