toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
