We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
