it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
