Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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