can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
