is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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