direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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