no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize