At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize