Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
