I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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