I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Someone shattered a urinal.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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