We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
