It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
