Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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