I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
