All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We had sex on a dog bed..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
