I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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