Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
