Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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