so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
