I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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