take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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