Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My ass is underappreciated
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize