He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
