I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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