I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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