if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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