I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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