problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize