She said her name was "party"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
