true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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