I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
