Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
love makes seman taste better
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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