hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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