My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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