Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
