They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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