Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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