so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
