the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
