Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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