You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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