she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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