White coat. Heels.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
