Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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