He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
