She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
two words...techno handjob
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize