Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
