Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
