Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
