Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
