the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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